I'm a change enthusiast. As you can see from my previous blog post I talk a lot about change. Often, I frame it in a positive light, my clients nearly all come to me with something they want to change for the better.
However, this last week or so has reminded me that not all change is welcome or easy. As a collective we have experienced a lot of rapid change in the last few years so the Queen's death, a new prime minister and for many the return to school all in one week is a lot. This of course is accompanied by a cost-of-living crisis, rising energy bills, and a war in Ukraine. Add onto the back of that Brexit and the life changing pandemic we've all barely emerged from it is quite understandable that a number of people have mentioned to me this week that they feel flat, exhausted and utterly lost.
The death of the Queen has affected many people, perhaps in ways they didn't anticipate. Regardless of your views on monarchy the Queen did represent a constant in many people's lives. She would be there on the screen every Christmas, and at times of crisis, her words during Covid "we will meet again" definitely got to me. In an unusual way we do all have a relationship with the Queen, she never gave interviews or opinions, and we can therefore project onto her psychologically so that she can represent to us individually what or who we want her to be. Thats why many people view her as grandmother or maternal type figure. Her continued, consistent presence through our lives can give a sense of safety and continuity. Which is why perhaps her death even though inevitable has been met with a sense of shock.
There is a power in collective grief, a positive if you will in that it can be a unifier, bringing people together, connecting and sharing after a period of such isolation during the pandemic could be hugely beneficial to some.
Grief whilst universal in that it is something we will all experience, is not universal in how we experience it. Grief is a very individual experience. Grief is an emotional process that requires us to somehow adapt to the loss. Just like change as the quote at the top of this post states "the way we embrace it impacts our future". That quote is from the Queen and somehow resonated with me this week. We have to try and accommodate the changes we are experiencing right now. Feeling the losses but also letting ourselves continue to live and look to the future.
If you are struggling with grief, I would urge you to reach out to others for support and enclose below a few helpful links: